a temporary goodbye

Children outside the clinic playing drums and

dancing.

My time in Haiti is coming to an end.

After being here almost five weeks, Seguin has become home. Leaving this place is going to break my heart. I let myself get far too attached.

I spent my last morning in Seguin trying to memorize the view from the Clinic roof and thinking about what it is I'm to miss. I'm going to miss living simply, though I will really enjoy showers and doing laundry when I get home. I'm going to miss the quiet. I'm going to miss serving these people.

I am excited to see where life takes me. At the beginning of my trip I told Kyle a major goal of mine was to figure out my life! Just something small to add to the to-do list, eh? As I spent more and more time thinking and praying, I realized that it's not for me to worry about figuring out. As long as I don't slam shut doors God opens for me, He has it figured out and will lead me in an incredible life. My plans usualllly don't work anyways. so what's the point in trying to plan out every detail? This has become my new favorite reminder: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed...In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." (Proverbs 16:3, 9) It turns out, the moment I let go of the worry and need to figure out where I am going in life, I got my answer.

There was a reason for my time here. Well, a lot of reasons. In so many ways, the timing of this trip has been perfect, even uncanny. The people that I've met, the relationships I've made, the ways in which I've grown, what I've learned... there was a point in all of this. 

To go on this trip required me to drop a lot of big plans I had back home: the plan to take Paramedic training, my job at the pharmacy, the stress of applying to graduate schools. I enjoyed serving in small ways, through EMS and hospice work, but for the most part my life was being lived for myself. I wanted to break free from that because it didn't sit well with me. So, I came to Haiti to serve. I found this quote that resonate so deeply with what I feel now:  

"The most important moments rarely come at a convenient time. Sometimes you wish that God would check your caledar first. The ironic part is that our schedules get packed with the mundane and ordinary, and we become irritated with God when he tries to interrupt us with the miraculous and extraordinary. The Scriptures are full of stories about people who were rudely interrupted by God. We read them and long to have the same kind of adventure. Yet when God interrupts us, are we willing to respond in a moment's notice?" (McManus)

I am promising myself that I will leave behind the mundane and ordinary and let God continue to interrupt my life with the extraordinary. I promise to welcome such interruptions. Seeing as how I haven't left yet, and I'm already planning trips back, it's safe to say I'm going to crave these interruptions. I'm just temporarily saying goodbye.

Love, Janae